Saturday, October 30, 2010

The River of Sadness

My life has always been somewhat of a joke. I always thought God was mad at me for some reason. Ever since I was a child, things just happen to me that no one would wish upon their worst enemy. I've always tried to make the most of the bad and turn it into good, but there's always those nagging thoughts that just completely fill my mind with negativity. Once someone gets to that point, a good cry is usually what's necessary... But life has not been good to me.

Everyone has dreams, inspirations, goals that they aspire to achieve. Every day I wake up eager to fulfill my goals. I am always optimistic about the results of my hard work and expectations. Even when the day ends and I haven't seem to have gotten anywhere, I will always try. Do you know why I call it the River of Sadness? Because when your sad, it flows through you. It consumes every part of your body until it makes you weak. You can feel it in your bones. Sadness can eat you from the inside out. That's why it's necessary to stay optimistic about all of your endeavors. If you don't, you will never make it.

Life has never been kind to me, but every day I try. I try to focus on the good things and try to drop my stresses at the door, because raising a son by yourself when you're stressed to the max is not healthy for you or him. And children can sense tension and unhappiness. They feed off of you. If you're stressed and grumpy, they will be too.

So focus on your successes and achievements. It is vital to prepare yourself mentally everyday for the roadblocks ahead, because they will always be there. Keep your chin up and smile. No matter how dark your life feels, it isn't as bad as it seems, and there's always a way to make it better. It just takes a lot of diligence, patience, and determination.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

True Discipline for Your Child

I've been having conversations with some mothers I know, and they all seem to have the same problem. No one follows through with anything. I am so tired of hearing about it. Don't these mothers know that the key to good parenting is to be consistent?

I have not been a great mother. The first few years after he was born, I didn't really care about being a good mom. I was selfish, irresponsible, and immature. It's been a long road since then, and I've never felt better about where we are together as a family.

One very important lesson I learned was that "finding a guy" never should've been a priority. Spending time with friends is not a priority. Sex is not a priority. All the guys, fun and sex will never last. Your child? He'll be there forever. Your child is your life. He's your priority. Building a tight bond with your child and proving that you're "the boss" is the only way to gain true love and respect from him.

If you've been going down a long path of destruction regarding discipline and respect, you need to earn that respect back from him. Your child needs to know that he can trust that you'll be there for him. You can say you are, but you're not. Most parents don't listen to their children and they don't treat their children with respect.

The key thing to remember is that when your child does something wrong, be patient and loving and ALWAYS remain calm. Showing him anger doesn't solve the problem and doesn't do any good to the situation. Now, there's nothing wrong with letting your child know that what they did angered you, but yelling and screaming at your child will do nothing but cause harm. A very important factor in discipline is spanking. Most parents spank their children when they are angry. They're forceful and disrespectful to their child. If you spank your child, do it when you're calm. If you tell your child that you will spank him if he does "so and so", do it. If he does what he isn't supposed to do, guide him somewhere, sit him down, and tell him exactly why he's getting a spanking. Tell him (calmly) that you love him, and that he is getting the spanking because he disobeyed you. Don't be angry. After you tell him, make sure he understands why. And THEN spank him.

Anything that you say you are going to do should be followed through. You can not deviate from that. Threatening your child with false discipline is the easiest way to get him to walk all over you. And if your child is a horrible handful at age 3,4,5 - Then when he is a teenager, he will be spiteful, and hateful, and angry.

I remember when I first started disciplining (or lack thereof), I was so afraid that he would resent me for disciplining him. And to be honest, he did. He thought I was a mean mommy. But now, he's 6 years old. He's respectful, and honest, and he's helpful and loving. And I've noticed a change in him that I can say is from the constant and consistent discipline, love, and respect that I show him. You can have that too. You just need to want it as much as your child deserves it.

Good luck! And if you have any questions or need help, contact me. I would be happy to help.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Living The Nervous Life

Hello all!

So I'm sitting in my office right now with my leg on the desk and my keyboard in my lap. Do you know what I love about that? No one gives a damn. Ha! But today has been an utterly exhausting day so far. I actually got plenty of sleep last night, but things have been so rough the past couple days. We go live on the 1st and there's so much that needs to be done still. Since we're such a small team, a lot is relied on just one person which then builds tempers when each person thinks their project is more important than everyone elses.

I have decided to just kick back and do what I do. When we go live, I'll have all of my stuff done. If it's not, it'll be in the inbox of someone's email. I think reminding someone multiple times to go over the rules and regulations gets tiring after awhile. For now, I will learn as much as I can on ABestWeb and Tweet my day away.

Actually, lunchtime is fast approaching. I think I might enjoy a cup of soup and then maybe enter again to win tickets to ASW. I am so eager to go I can barely stand it. I don't believe the boss man will pay for it but I'm going to cross my fingers. Just gotta wait for the right time to approach him about it. Last time I asked, he said it wasn't the best time. This time, I'm going to tell him I need to go. Not ask... Look at me with my big brass balls.

Wish me luck!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Homework Blows

There is nothing worse than having a 4 day weekend and spending the middle of the weekend, Friday night doing homework from 5pm until 10:30pm. Ugh!

I want to do something!!!!

It's so late now, I don't really think I'm going to do anything. But I have been watching "What Would You Do?" on ABC while doing homework. It's so intriguing how most Americans don't even attempt to help others in peril or being treated unfairly. It's so sad. But unfortunately, it's true.

I think Americans need to stand up and stop being so focused on what other people think, and focus on how to truly be happy and how to live their life with all intentions of trying to make it a better place.

Too many people spend their lives in a little bubble of selfishness and hate. What is going on in our world? It's despicable and sometimes I can't stand being a part of it. We need to stick together and try our best to work as a universal team in this sad, sad world.

Breaking My Back

Hello everyone!!!
It's been a long week. My little one is with his daddy at the moment, and he's beginning to discover the benefits of texting. He's 6 years old and can read and write now, so whenever he goes to his dad's, I am constantly getting the most adorable texts from him. If he's sitting in the car, he confiscates his dad's phone and writes me. I absolutely love it! I woke up last Saturday to a text that said, "I love you beckuse your the best mom evre". Is that not the cutest thing ever? He is such a sweetheart!

As far as work is concerned, I need my own office. I tend to focus so much when I'm working that people try to talk to me and start conversations and I never hear a word they're saying. But when someone sits on the phone while I'm trying to work, I get so irritated and want to take their phone and throw it against the wall. The constant drone of the "monologue" makes my skin crawl. Is this normal? I think not. Who knows though.

Another topic. My ex-husband (who I claim never was because we got an annulment) is driving me absolutely bonkers. I was trying to get him to take my dog Phoebe until May because she's a big Boxer and I hate that she's stuck in the house all day while I'm not there. Now all of a sudden I am getting constant texts from him and I am ready to pull my hair out. I tried explaining to him that the closest we will get to a friendship is "acquaintances" but he doesn't seem to hear or understand me. Any thoughts? I hope he gets the point soon.

And another topic! Halloween is coming up soon and I am so excited about the Pirate Party we're going to next weekend :) It should be a ton of fun. I am going as a famous lady pirate, Anne Bonny. I'll have to take lots of pictures so you all can see how much work I put into my costume. Lol!

Let me know how you are all doing or give me a word so I can have a new topic to discuss besides my own life!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Exorcising The Mind

Has anyone ever considered exorcising their mind?
I am on my last emotional leg. Things have been crazy lately and I am definitely ready for a long vacation.
I want to exorcise my mind to the point where I am completely useless.
I am ready for a big quiet beach, a stack of books (or a Kindle), and lots of sun.
The only thing I want to do is relax.
Anyone know of a place like that? I need a friend with a condo on the beach so I don't have to pay for a hotel!

Cayden should come with me too because I think he also needs a vacation.
All those homework assignments he gets every night are starting to wear on him.

I am also discovering that this semester is the first semester where I can't just get A's without trying. I must actually study. It's a bit frustrating because I am not used to having to read my textbooks to understand the work. Except for math of course. Math has always confused me.

Anyway, back to daydreaming about vacations!

I also want an investor in the bar that I want to open up. If anyone knows someone I could ask to invest in my bar, get ahold of me. It would be a money maker. Promise!

Back to work for me. *sigh*

Friday, October 8, 2010

Lack of movement is enhancing my rear - And not in a good way!

As you know, I am taking classes at IUPUI. This semester, I have impressively crammed my classes into 2 days a week to minimize the amount of driving time. Because of this, I decided to get myself something most people would call a job. The depressing thing about it is that I sit. And sit. And sit. I'm sure plenty of you know what I mean when I say that my rear is expanding. My God! Who would actually choose to sit for 8 hours straight? Ooh, I know. ME... I get up after work and feel like I must walk sideways (crab style) to get out the office door.

Because my ass has been complaining regularly about its widening size, I have begun much needed cardio. Yesterday, I swore up and down that I would stay on the stair stepper machine for an entire hour. Because no one believed I could do it, I did. And it felt amazing!! Of course now, all I want to do is go back and do it again. Which I must say is pretty amusing, considering that the entire time I was on the damn thing, all I wanted to do was get off of it. Ha!

Speaking of walking up stairs, we had a fire drill at my office on Wednesday. We're on the 13th floor. You must be crazy to think that I'm walking all the way down 13 flights of stairs for a planned fire drill. Now, it's not the exercise I was complaining about. It was just the sheer stupidity of the whole thing. So yes, I took the elevator. Haha!

Now, don't judge. You know you would've done the same thing.

Speaking of judging. Does anyone else out there have a child that somewhat resembles a snail/turtle in the mornings? I don't understand how someone with nonstop energy can mutate into such a slow and zombie-like state during the only time in the day that I want him to be speedy! "Hurry up" is not in his vocabulary!

And I must tell you how much he resembles me when I was his age. His face is always stuck in a book. I love it! :) But I must admit that because I work and go to school, and he goes to bed at 7pm, I rarely ever see him, and when I pick him up from school, guess what he does the whole way home? READS! "How was your day honey?" Response: "Fine".... "Did you learn anything?" Response: "Mmm, no." Grrrrr...

But I guess that's the typical response for a boy that is growing up and becoming more independent, huh? My boyfriend also reminded me yesterday that eventually he won't even speak to me. Of course, I asked my son if he would still hang out with me when he was a teenager. His response, "YES! We'll hang out all the time! You're the best mommy E V E R!!!" Uh huh.... Sure. We'll see ;)