Whoa!

So, it seems that people are still reading my blog and I am ashamed that I have not posted ANYTHING since January. I know, I know; shame on me. But I am here now!

So, I have a confession to make. I am in 4 online classes this semester at IUPUI and one thing I have come to realize is that college is typically super easy... I spend a maximum of 3 hours a week (more or less) on all four of my classes, and I have an A in each and every one of them. Doesn't that bother you a bit? I mean, I do every assignment, but I almost never crack open a book. It's kind of astounding to me how I can pass each class with flying colors without even trying. The worst part is that these classes are for my major. 300 level classes that I don't even need to study for.

Now, don't think that I am a big-headed, pompous freak; because I'm not. I'm merely observing how the responsibilities and preparedness of receiving an "oh so important" college degree can be achieved with such a small amount of motivation. And the fact that I'm slowly working myself into such a LARGE amount of debt is even more disturbing.

"Let's teach you absolutely nothing, and charge you more money than you'll ever make in your lifetime so you can receive a degree that you will probably never use!"

Does that sound about right to you? Yeah, me too.

Affiliate Summit West 2011 is Utterly Amazing!

I have been at the Affiliate Summit in Las Vegas since the 8th of January. First and foremost, I wanted to apologize for the lack of posts the past few days. Secondly, I am completely amazed by the untapped potential that exists in the Affiliate Program Market. I have been attending as many sessions as possible and have been networking like crazy. There are so many fabulous companies and agencies here, and it's exciting to finally meet the faces to the names and voices of the people I've met the past few months.

I am returning Wednesday night from Vegas and will resume my daily posts beginning Thursday. For all of you that are here at the Summit, I can't believe how great you all are! I wish I could meet everyone but if we haven't met, follow me on Twitter and maybe at ASE we can meet up for drinks or dinner! Twitter: ShainaKP

For everyone at home, I miss you all so much. Especially my little one, Cayden.
We've been speaking regularly and he's counting down the days until I return. I can't wait to give him a huge hug and smooch.

I hope everyone stays safe with all the storms going on tonight and tomorrow. Drive safe!!

True Inspiration Isn't Hard To Find

I've been thinking quite a bit about inspiration for my blogs and where to find it. Then I began to realize that when it comes from the heart, it's the most influential thought process I could have. My biggest inspiration would be my son. There's little things you see in them that you can't help but fall in love with them all over again. The way he takes my hand just because he wants to be close to me. Or the look of peace on his face when he's asleep. Of course, you've heard time and time again, that you'll never know what true unconditional love is until you've become a mother. This is true beyond a shadow of a doubt.

The innocence in his eyes is unmistakable. His soul is still pure and his intentions always good. Children should always be the inspiration of your heart. Knowing that you are molding their entire existence to become someone great is enough to drive me to always better myself and to always protect his heart and mind in any way I know possible.

Even the fears that grip you when they get hurt, or how you can (incredibly) bolt upright out of bed from the slightest whimper. This is what we're made for. The pure adrenaline to support, protect and nourish our young. Who needs better inspiration then that?! One of my favorite times of the day is right before it's time to turn out his light. All of the frustrations and exasperation of the day are gone, and all that's left is me and him. He tells me all about his day (which I can't seem to get out of him right after school) and the excitement in his voice warms my heart with such vigor. He's intense and his stories are so vivid. He's growing up and it's so hard to remember that. He's so intelligent and so independent, and yet his mind is so pliable that it's sometimes hard to remember that every second of the day, my actions are teaching him what he should be like as he gets older.

So always remind yourself that your children are reason enough to be kind and caring and thoughtful throughout your days, because time moves swiftly and your children are your main priority. All the worries of the day will be gone or you'll see them in the morning. At the end of the day, it's just you... and them.

Making Your House Your Home

One thing I've always wanted was to have a house that I saw as my own. I've had apartments and houses that I've rented, but I've never filled them with things that made me feel like I belong. Don't get me wrong though. I've never been the type of person that focused on material things to make me feel like I fit in or belong, but I do think it's important to not only fill your home with people you love, but to make it something that you always want to come home to.

As a single mother, it has been a little difficult to achieve this "home" feeling. I've definitely accomplished giving my son a home that he loves to return to, but that's more of the fact that I'm here. For me, I've always been a fan of artichectural magazines and interior design websites. I am determined to make a home that I absolutely love. I have always had this inspiration to make my home "lovely".

To accomplish this on my own "low" budget, I've learned how to shop correctly. I always search antique malls first. I have been able to purchase amazing pieces for pennies on the dollar (worth-wise). For clothes, consignment shops are the best. I have found amazing clothes for just a few dollars each. After all of this, I go to Meijer and Target for small furniture pieces like floor lamps and tables. For big pieces of furniture like beds and sofas, I try to buy brand new, but sometimes you can find amazing sofas on Craigslist or Ebay for great prices. Mattresses I would suggest to always buy brand new. For sofas, if you are planning on buying them used, I would advise getting them cleaned thoroughly. I would suggest http://www.facebook.com/pages/Meiks-Carpet-Cleaning/182922115070484. My friend owns the company and he's been cleaning carpets and upholstery for his entire adult life. We're also extremely close and I trust him with my family.

As far as designing your home to make it beautiful, start with purchasing picture collage frames and fill them with your warmest memories. Try to integrate colors when purchasing art. If your blankets on your bed are teal and beige, try to find a piece of art with colors that compliment that and place it over your bed. Try to find colors and patterns to place in your home that make you feel warm, peaceful and calm. This I believe is most important because you want to come home and feel like you're in a safe and serene environment.

The only reason I wanted to address this issue is because I think this is so important. I'm not sure how important this is to others but I have so many ideas and it's hard to list them all in one blog so if anyone wants help organizing their home or designing their rooms, I'd be more than happy to help. If you have an idea of what kind of "feeling" you want your room to have, I'm good at that too. This is a passion of mine and would love to build a sort of "portfolio" of references so that one day I might be able to do this full time.

Just like one of my previous posts,Feeling A Bit Stabby Today, this is one of the things that I like to do for me. Cleaning, organizing and decorating are things that I love doing. Join me in this journey of self fulfillment and make your home and mind a place where you love being.

Who Raises Your Kids?

The one thing I am most proud of out of everything I've accomplished in my life is my son. That's an easy enough statement. Most parents will say that right off the bat. But are parents truly proud of their kids? If someone asked you, "Why?" What would you say?

I am proud of my son because the first thing he does in the morning is pick up his pillow and his book and sits on the couch and reads. He doesn't turn on the TV, or whine for breakfast, or ask to play on the computer. He reads. Most 6 year olds are unlike my son. He is kind-hearted, generous, loving, patient, and he cares for others. He tries to make me laugh all the time. He tries to take care of me when I'm sick, and he tries to make his own breakfast when he's with me on the weekends so I can sleep a little longer.

Another reason I'm proud of him is his ability to adapt to most situations easily. He understands not everything is about him and is willing to let things happen the way I say they should.

This leads me to ask, who is raising your kids?

I only ask this because I know a lot of kids. They are constantly in my house and vice versa. I love that my son has friends and that they love spending time over here but I am troubled with what happens when he goes to other peoples' houses to hang out. I have a rule. No TV, no video games and no computer. He's 6. He should be outside playing or playing with his toys. Not sitting in front of the TV all day. And that's why I'm troubled. When he goes to his friend's house, they play video games and he loses track of time and inevitably gets in trouble for coming home late. When the kids come to my house, we make water balloons and we get out the nerf guns or the skateboards and they all go play. If it's cold or rainy, they go in his room and play with lincoln logs and army men and build forts.

I just don't understand it. Sometimes I wonder why people have kids when they don't do anything with them. Is everyone so worn out and exhausted that by the time they come home, the last thing they want is to spend time with their kids? Shouldn't there be some sort of test people should pass before reproducing? In all honesty, I just feel bad for the children. Parents don't seem to raise their own kids anymore. There are nannies, TV's, video games, computer games, and it's all portable. Children going to the grocery store with you? No problem! Pay for the cart that plays the movie and your set! Bullshit. Teach your children how to behave and you wouldn't have a problem in the first place. You would actually enjoy the time spent at the store because you raised them right. My son knows the rules. Don't ask me for anything sweet because you're not getting it. He learned that rule years ago. We have fun when we go to stores. I won't stand for anything else and he knows that. We laugh, play, and have a great time. He knows that I follow through with discipline and he respects me because of it.

Try being the one to raise your children. Spend time with them. Respect that they have an opinion just as much as you do. Don't make them feel stupid for asking questions, and try to answer them. My favorite answer is, "Let's Google it when we get home!" He loves it. We learn about things and then I send him off to play. Give them an opportunity to teach you something because trust me, there's a lot that they know and you don't. Don't settle for "fine" when you ask them how their day was. Show them that you trust them and they'll trust you in return. Children are amazing and they're completely and utterly misjudged as deceitful and evil little shits. I promise you that if you raise them right the first time, you'll earn the respect that you demand.

Discipline is key. If you say you're going to do something, you better do it. They remember when you don't. Each and every time. All they need and want is guidance, respect, and love. Nurture them and teach them, and they will love and respect you for it.

Feeling A Bit Stabby Today

On Facebook today, I claimed I was feeling a bit stabby today. You know that feeling? Where you're in a perfectly good mood, but you know that as soon as someone crosses you the wrong way, you're liable to just stab em?! No? Maybe it's just me. But today was one of those days. I had a wonderful morning with my son. I made him hard-boiled eggs with toast and OJ for breakfast and sent him off to school all happy and warm, and I ran errands and cleaned all day. Overall, a happy day for me, but what the heck was my deal? I was driving down the road and anyone that looked at me wrong got a glare that could melt the iceberg that sunk the Titanic in seconds. LOL

Maybe it's the lack of water I've been drinking lately. And also the lack of climbing. Without exercise, I've noticed I tend to get a little irritable. I think most people are like that. If there's no release for any past tensions, it tends to just boil up inside until it comes out distastefully. Of course, we never want to cause a scene, or snap at our significant others for scratching their noses, so we must all find ways to release our tensions. Exercise, solo movies, yoga, sex, shopping; whatever is your release, try to do it as often as possible. (For the shoppers out there, make sure 'shopping' won't cause tension down the road when the bill/statement comes).

This release is incredible for stopping problems/tensions in their tracks. Making time for yourself to do things you love is a necessity in your life. I like to go rock climbing, make hemp jewelry, and knit. Those are things I do to give myself the quiet time I need to relax and evaluate how my day was, ponder my own deep thoughts, and contemplate things that are important to me.

I must admit, the past 7 months have been especially hard on me for numerous reasons. Most of those reasons revolved around the fact that I was just too busy to do anything that I wanted to do. I lost all track of things that I loved doing and focused completely on school and everyone else. I was lost in some muddlement of despair and looking back, I am fully aware that I simply lost myself in all of it. Never forget who you are or what you desire most out of life because as a woman, that's the first thing to go. We yearn for nothing more than to please others and render ourselves to everyone we care about. We go above and beyond to anyone that needs us and before we know it, we're disoriented and lacking the most important thing: Ourself

So take time for yourself. Even if it's only 30 minutes a day. Do what you love, take a nap, do something for you, and I promise, within a week, you won't feel stabby like I know you all secretly do on a more regular basis than you're willing to admit! You'll feel more clear headed, refreshed, and more like the person you knew you were before work, husbands, and children took over!

On a personal note:

So, I've been looking around my house and I am not happy with it at all. In my boyfriend's words, it's a bachelorette pad. He makes these statements because I sleep on a futon and because I have no art or pictures on my walls.

Yes, yes. I sleep on a futon. Everyone thinks it's absolutely horrible, but I like it. A lot of beds actually hurt my back more than a futon would. I know that sounds utterly unbelievable, but believe it! Even though I like my futon, I am planning on getting a real bed this month. I'm actually super excited about it because I'm hoping that the good luck fairies will be with me and will help me pick the perfect bed for me. The last thing I want is a bed that hurts my back more than my futon does!

As for the art/pictures, I have NO idea what to buy! I'm at a loss because there's so much art that I want that I end up never getting anything. I know I need to just pick something or take some pics and blow them up and frame them, but it just all seems like a ton of unneccesary work, especially when I plan on moving at the end of May. Why bother poking holes in the wall when I'll have to spackle them in 4 months? I'd rather just wait until I move and then figure out where all the furniture goes first. Makes sense, right?!

As far as moving goes, I've found ONE house for rent that I really like. All the others are just dumb. My dog is big and she needs a TON of space to move around. This one house has a HUGE yard but no fireplace. I REALLY REALLY wanted a fireplace. Any thoughts?

Learning to Love THEIR Way

So I've been thinking... Most women go throughout their days thinking that the men they're dating should change. They should change the way they act, the way they live, the way they eat, and so on and so forth. I never thought I could be classified as one of those women until just recently. I may not be excessively particular about things I want to change in a guy, but after thinking long and hard about my past relationships, what needs to happen is both parties need to be more accepting about the other.

So this is what I'm proposing. Think of a word or two. Make it the word (or words) for the entire year. One of my words is going to be Acceptance. I have decided that in all aspects of my life, I need to be more accepting to what happens. The decisions I make are reflected through the consequences and I need to recognize that. Attempting a long term relationship with someone that doesn't necessarily fit my 'terms' of a perfect man doesn't give me any right to feel like I should change him. Compromise is a must in relationships but forcible change is the opposite. It's unwelcome, it's disrespectful, and it's toxic in any emotional bond between two people.

I've always been adamant about never reprimanding a boyfriend about leaving the seat up. Who am I to be the judge on whether a seat is up or down? What gives me the right to tell them what to do when it comes to something so trivial? Same goes for other areas of the relationship. What right do I have to force someone to cuddle more, or be more publicly affectionate? All relationships have their ups and downs, but choosing something as frivolous as cuddling to pick a fight is asking for trouble. Same goes with children. Why do parents find it necessary to fight with their child about something as silly as, say, wearing pajamas to the grocery store? Let them! Choose your battles wisely! Because every parent knows that at the end of the day, does it really matter what they wore?

Back to relationships, choose your battles wisely as well. Have an accepting heart. Don't have a shit fit because your boyfriend/husband didn't cuddle with you before he got up for work, or that he didn't kiss you when he got home. These things don't matter. My second word is going to be Gratitude. Combining these two words is my goal. I need to accept that not everything is going to go exactly how I want them to go, and I need to be grateful for the things that I do receive. So when you start feeling anger well up because he doesn't do something your way, be grateful that he's in your life and that you share that intimate bond with each other. These are the things that matter. Not throwing a hissy fit because it doesn't go your way.

I have never understood why women always assumed it's the men that need to change. For the most part, men are easygoing, laid back, not too emotional, and disturbingly honest. In all honesty, I think it would be refreshing if more women were like that. Less drama, less inane competition, less pettiness and erratic behaviour. These are the things that give us our name: Crazy
Has anyone ever actually considered this? Why do men say women are crazy? (And yes, I know not all women are crazy, I'm just speaking of the ones that are.) Women are labeled as crazy because they wear their hearts on their sleeves, they make decisions based off of their emotions, and they read into every little thing their significant other says or does. I am putting a stop to this in my own relationship. It's clearly not working and it's putting a damper on my relationship as well as my friendships with females. Maybe it's not the men that need to change. Maybe it's us...

Not as Bad as I Thought!

So my final grades for Fall Semester actually weren't half bad! I knew I was going to fail my math class from the start because I just didn't understand any of it, but I can retake it. And when I do, my new grade will replace the F. As far as my other classes, I received an A in 'Human Behavior in Organizations', a B in my 'Environmental Geology' class, and a B- in 'Quantitative Analysis' and 'Data Management'. This was my hardest semester yet, and I was completely convinced that I was going to fail each and every one of my classes. I'm so glad I did better than I thought. I believe the hardest part for me was working while going to school. I know single mothers do it every day, but in all honesty, I think it's important to not only excel in school but to still be capable of exceeding all expectations in the workplace and to be a kind, loving, and devoted mother. In my opinion, it's virtually impossible to do all of these things at the same time. I believe two out of the three are possible, but clearly, I would pick my son and school before I would pick work. And as I am not a slacker by any means, I don't think it's right for me to attempt a career at this stage in my life.

As for other areas of my life, things just aren't the way I thought they'd be. I'm almost 30 and I don't feel as satisfied as I thought I would at this point in my life. I've fallen in love with a guy that I believe is an astounding person. He's intelligent, funny, charismatic, and has high goals in life. The problem is that I just don't see him wanting to be in a relationship right now. He says he does, and he says he loves me, which I believe because he is not the type to let emotions fly out of his mouth easily. If he says something like that, it's 100% sincere. But, I am not getting what I need from him. I try my damndest to be respectful and supportive to him. All I've ever asked of him was his love. To be sweet and kind and sincere... I don't think he can give me that. I'm beginning to think that's just the person he is. Of course sometimes he can be those things and I love it, but it always seems hard for him. Almost like it's out of character for him to do these things. When we go out, get food, get alcohol, go on dates; he always pays. It's definitely a treat, and I would even say it's extremely sweet of him, but it's not worth it if he's going to be standoffish, stoic, and unaffectionate the whole time.

When I am out with him in public, typically if people saw us together, they would assume we were just friends. He's definitely been more affectionate since I told him how I felt but it still doesn't seem natural. And because it doesn't seem natural, I am consistently feeling like I'm trying to change him, which I'm not. It's hard to know who he really is when he doesn't open up to me. He told me once that he's opened up to me more than anyone else. I believe that to a point. But sometimes you can tell that he's bottling things up inside and not letting it out and it just festers in his soul until we get into a huge fight over something ridiculous. I'm just not sure how healthy this relationship is and whether or not I should continue to fight for it. At times, I can't imagine him not being in my life because he just fits... But other times, I just don't know. I think if I met him the way he is now when I was 20 years old and childless, then we'd be a perfect fit. But I don't think he's ready. He likes single me, but is slightly uncomfortable with me being a mother. Not because he doesn't like me as a mother or dislikes my son, but because he feels somewhat awkward around children. He's not ready. But how do I explain that it's not working out? How do I let go of someone incredibly important to me when my only excuse is that I believe they need to grow up? And is it bad that I want to stay with him because I know that when he finally grows up, he is going to be the perfect man for me? Is that rational? Or am I just clutching straws because I don't want to let him go?

So many questions and so little answers. I don't mind though. That's what life is, right? Going through your life trying to make the best decisions and attempting to be happy with those decisions. I have not made a New Years resolution this year. I made one last year and I broke it in April when I met my current boyfriend. You know, the one I'm struggling with at the moment... There's nothing I want for this year except to be happy in all aspects of my life. But everyone wants that. No point in making it a resolution.

I am eager for this new year though. New friends, new classes, and my son is turning 7. Unbelievable, right? He's growing up to be such an incredible little person. He's sweet, kind, caring, loving, and insanely intelligent. The gift he was most excited about that he got for Christmas were the 30+ books that I bought him. Who can tell me that they've ever met a 6 year old that was more excited about his books than any of the toys he received?! I am a proud mama. As for all of you, I hope you had a wonderful and safe New Years Eve. I'm happy you're a part of my life, and I thank you for letting me share my own trials & tribulations and joys & successes of 2010. I look forward to sharing more in 2011 (and hopefully more often). By the way, any input on my current situation would be appreciated. I am at a loss for what to do and would be so grateful for any input. Love you all!

Sick. Exhausted. And The Grades Are Suffering

Good morning everyone! I am sitting on my couch surrounded by tissues, tea, a heater, and my computer. It's finals week at school. And where am I again? That's right.... Home. Sick. Don't worry. I have no finals today. It's early, so I'll be sure to get to campus in time for Finals Review for my Math class. But first, I want to write a bit and then take a long nap.

Has anyone seen Wicked? I desperately want to see it. I started reading the book but just didn't have time to focus on it and actually finish it, so I gave up. But it's coming to Indianapolis in just a few weeks. I can't wait!

Ok, back to being nasty sick. So my son had a cold/cough/fever when he got back from his dad's on Sunday. My mom kept him Sunday night and Monday night so I wouldn't get sick. By Tuesday when I got out of class, he was so much better so I picked him up and took him home. Tuesday night, I'm sniffling. By Wednesday I have tissues attached to my hand. And this morning (Thursday), I am full blown sick with the worst symptoms possible. Anyone want to switch? Anyone? Anyone?

I didn't think so. Boo.

I was at work yesterday and I kept staring at my computer. Was I supposed to be doing something? I think so. But my brain was so fuzzy, I couldn't focus on anything.

And is anyone else amazed by how freakin' cold it's been outside the past week?
Try having a cold and walking the dog every couple hours in this. Hahaha.
Everything in my nose freezes and feels very awkward and let me tell you how attractive it is ;)

I must say though, I'm so happy winter is here, because that just means we're that much closer to Spring!
In January, I will be heading to Las Vegas for the Affiliate Summit West 2011. I cannot wait! I will be bringing tons of notepads and lots of pens. I plan on learning so much there and bringing it back home to increase our sales and build the best Affiliate Program out there!

Sales are already increasing and it's so exciting! We've got Ebay feeds up and we're planning on starting Amazon feeds very soon. I'm expecting a datafeed for our Affiliate Program soon too. I'd like to have that loaded on ShareASale within the next couple weeks.

So, with Cayden, Work, and School, I have realized that I am completely overwhelmed. My grades have suffered this semester and it's very unfortunate. I have been taking 5 classes per semester for a year now and my average is 4 A's and one B. This semester, it looks like I'll be getting 3 B's, one A and get this.... one D!!!! If I wasn't so physically exhausted and mentally blocked and wiped out, I would be DEVASTATED. But honestly, I just have to rearrange my schedule, focus on school more, and pick myself up and aim for straight A's this coming semester.

If anyone has any up and coming study tips that might be helpful, please share! Wish me luck or say a prayer for me for my finals! Happy holidays to all of you! I'm heading to bed for a nap!

The River of Sadness

My life has always been somewhat of a joke. I always thought God was mad at me for some reason. Ever since I was a child, things just happen to me that no one would wish upon their worst enemy. I've always tried to make the most of the bad and turn it into good, but there's always those nagging thoughts that just completely fill my mind with negativity. Once someone gets to that point, a good cry is usually what's necessary... But life has not been good to me.

Everyone has dreams, inspirations, goals that they aspire to achieve. Every day I wake up eager to fulfill my goals. I am always optimistic about the results of my hard work and expectations. Even when the day ends and I haven't seem to have gotten anywhere, I will always try. Do you know why I call it the River of Sadness? Because when your sad, it flows through you. It consumes every part of your body until it makes you weak. You can feel it in your bones. Sadness can eat you from the inside out. That's why it's necessary to stay optimistic about all of your endeavors. If you don't, you will never make it.

Life has never been kind to me, but every day I try. I try to focus on the good things and try to drop my stresses at the door, because raising a son by yourself when you're stressed to the max is not healthy for you or him. And children can sense tension and unhappiness. They feed off of you. If you're stressed and grumpy, they will be too.

So focus on your successes and achievements. It is vital to prepare yourself mentally everyday for the roadblocks ahead, because they will always be there. Keep your chin up and smile. No matter how dark your life feels, it isn't as bad as it seems, and there's always a way to make it better. It just takes a lot of diligence, patience, and determination.

True Discipline for Your Child

I've been having conversations with some mothers I know, and they all seem to have the same problem. No one follows through with anything. I am so tired of hearing about it. Don't these mothers know that the key to good parenting is to be consistent?

I have not been a great mother. The first few years after he was born, I didn't really care about being a good mom. I was selfish, irresponsible, and immature. It's been a long road since then, and I've never felt better about where we are together as a family.

One very important lesson I learned was that "finding a guy" never should've been a priority. Spending time with friends is not a priority. Sex is not a priority. All the guys, fun and sex will never last. Your child? He'll be there forever. Your child is your life. He's your priority. Building a tight bond with your child and proving that you're "the boss" is the only way to gain true love and respect from him.

If you've been going down a long path of destruction regarding discipline and respect, you need to earn that respect back from him. Your child needs to know that he can trust that you'll be there for him. You can say you are, but you're not. Most parents don't listen to their children and they don't treat their children with respect.

The key thing to remember is that when your child does something wrong, be patient and loving and ALWAYS remain calm. Showing him anger doesn't solve the problem and doesn't do any good to the situation. Now, there's nothing wrong with letting your child know that what they did angered you, but yelling and screaming at your child will do nothing but cause harm. A very important factor in discipline is spanking. Most parents spank their children when they are angry. They're forceful and disrespectful to their child. If you spank your child, do it when you're calm. If you tell your child that you will spank him if he does "so and so", do it. If he does what he isn't supposed to do, guide him somewhere, sit him down, and tell him exactly why he's getting a spanking. Tell him (calmly) that you love him, and that he is getting the spanking because he disobeyed you. Don't be angry. After you tell him, make sure he understands why. And THEN spank him.

Anything that you say you are going to do should be followed through. You can not deviate from that. Threatening your child with false discipline is the easiest way to get him to walk all over you. And if your child is a horrible handful at age 3,4,5 - Then when he is a teenager, he will be spiteful, and hateful, and angry.

I remember when I first started disciplining (or lack thereof), I was so afraid that he would resent me for disciplining him. And to be honest, he did. He thought I was a mean mommy. But now, he's 6 years old. He's respectful, and honest, and he's helpful and loving. And I've noticed a change in him that I can say is from the constant and consistent discipline, love, and respect that I show him. You can have that too. You just need to want it as much as your child deserves it.

Good luck! And if you have any questions or need help, contact me. I would be happy to help.

Living The Nervous Life

Hello all!

So I'm sitting in my office right now with my leg on the desk and my keyboard in my lap. Do you know what I love about that? No one gives a damn. Ha! But today has been an utterly exhausting day so far. I actually got plenty of sleep last night, but things have been so rough the past couple days. We go live on the 1st and there's so much that needs to be done still. Since we're such a small team, a lot is relied on just one person which then builds tempers when each person thinks their project is more important than everyone elses.

I have decided to just kick back and do what I do. When we go live, I'll have all of my stuff done. If it's not, it'll be in the inbox of someone's email. I think reminding someone multiple times to go over the rules and regulations gets tiring after awhile. For now, I will learn as much as I can on ABestWeb and Tweet my day away.

Actually, lunchtime is fast approaching. I think I might enjoy a cup of soup and then maybe enter again to win tickets to ASW. I am so eager to go I can barely stand it. I don't believe the boss man will pay for it but I'm going to cross my fingers. Just gotta wait for the right time to approach him about it. Last time I asked, he said it wasn't the best time. This time, I'm going to tell him I need to go. Not ask... Look at me with my big brass balls.

Wish me luck!

Homework Blows

There is nothing worse than having a 4 day weekend and spending the middle of the weekend, Friday night doing homework from 5pm until 10:30pm. Ugh!

I want to do something!!!!

It's so late now, I don't really think I'm going to do anything. But I have been watching "What Would You Do?" on ABC while doing homework. It's so intriguing how most Americans don't even attempt to help others in peril or being treated unfairly. It's so sad. But unfortunately, it's true.

I think Americans need to stand up and stop being so focused on what other people think, and focus on how to truly be happy and how to live their life with all intentions of trying to make it a better place.

Too many people spend their lives in a little bubble of selfishness and hate. What is going on in our world? It's despicable and sometimes I can't stand being a part of it. We need to stick together and try our best to work as a universal team in this sad, sad world.

Breaking My Back

Hello everyone!!!
It's been a long week. My little one is with his daddy at the moment, and he's beginning to discover the benefits of texting. He's 6 years old and can read and write now, so whenever he goes to his dad's, I am constantly getting the most adorable texts from him. If he's sitting in the car, he confiscates his dad's phone and writes me. I absolutely love it! I woke up last Saturday to a text that said, "I love you beckuse your the best mom evre". Is that not the cutest thing ever? He is such a sweetheart!

As far as work is concerned, I need my own office. I tend to focus so much when I'm working that people try to talk to me and start conversations and I never hear a word they're saying. But when someone sits on the phone while I'm trying to work, I get so irritated and want to take their phone and throw it against the wall. The constant drone of the "monologue" makes my skin crawl. Is this normal? I think not. Who knows though.


Another topic. My ex-husband (who I claim never was because we got an annulment) is driving me absolutely bonkers. I was trying to get him to take my dog Phoebe until May because she's a big Boxer and I hate that she's stuck in the house all day while I'm not there. Now all of a sudden I am getting constant texts from him and I am ready to pull my hair out. I tried explaining to him that the closest we will get to a friendship is "acquaintances" but he doesn't seem to hear or understand me. Any thoughts? I hope he gets the point soon.

And another topic! Halloween is coming up soon and I am so excited about the Pirate Party we're going to next weekend :) It should be a ton of fun. I am going as a famous lady pirate, Anne Bonny. I'll have to take lots of pictures so you all can see how much work I put into my costume. Lol!

Let me know how you are all doing or give me a word so I can have a new topic to discuss besides my own life!

Exorcising The Mind

Has anyone ever considered exorcising their mind?
I am on my last emotional leg. Things have been crazy lately and I am definitely ready for a long vacation.
I want to exorcise my mind to the point where I am completely useless.
I am ready for a big quiet beach, a stack of books (or a Kindle), and lots of sun.
The only thing I want to do is relax.
Anyone know of a place like that? I need a friend with a condo on the beach so I don't have to pay for a hotel!

Cayden should come with me too because I think he also needs a vacation.
All those homework assignments he gets every night are starting to wear on him.

I am also discovering that this semester is the first semester where I can't just get A's without trying. I must actually study. It's a bit frustrating because I am not used to having to read my textbooks to understand the work. Except for math of course. Math has always confused me.

Anyway, back to daydreaming about vacations!

I also want an investor in the bar that I want to open up. If anyone knows someone I could ask to invest in my bar, get ahold of me. It would be a money maker. Promise!

Back to work for me. *sigh*

Lack of movement is enhancing my rear - And not in a good way!

As you know, I am taking classes at IUPUI. This semester, I have impressively crammed my classes into 2 days a week to minimize the amount of driving time. Because of this, I decided to get myself something most people would call a job. The depressing thing about it is that I sit. And sit. And sit. I'm sure plenty of you know what I mean when I say that my rear is expanding. My God! Who would actually choose to sit for 8 hours straight? Ooh, I know. ME... I get up after work and feel like I must walk sideways (crab style) to get out the office door.

Because my ass has been complaining regularly about its widening size, I have begun much needed cardio. Yesterday, I swore up and down that I would stay on the stair stepper machine for an entire hour. Because no one believed I could do it, I did. And it felt amazing!! Of course now, all I want to do is go back and do it again. Which I must say is pretty amusing, considering that the entire time I was on the damn thing, all I wanted to do was get off of it. Ha!

Speaking of walking up stairs, we had a fire drill at my office on Wednesday. We're on the 13th floor. You must be crazy to think that I'm walking all the way down 13 flights of stairs for a planned fire drill. Now, it's not the exercise I was complaining about. It was just the sheer stupidity of the whole thing. So yes, I took the elevator. Haha!

Now, don't judge. You know you would've done the same thing.

Speaking of judging. Does anyone else out there have a child that somewhat resembles a snail/turtle in the mornings? I don't understand how someone with nonstop energy can mutate into such a slow and zombie-like state during the only time in the day that I want him to be speedy! "Hurry up" is not in his vocabulary!

And I must tell you how much he resembles me when I was his age. His face is always stuck in a book. I love it! :) But I must admit that because I work and go to school, and he goes to bed at 7pm, I rarely ever see him, and when I pick him up from school, guess what he does the whole way home? READS! "How was your day honey?" Response: "Fine".... "Did you learn anything?" Response: "Mmm, no." Grrrrr...

But I guess that's the typical response for a boy that is growing up and becoming more independent, huh? My boyfriend also reminded me yesterday that eventually he won't even speak to me. Of course, I asked my son if he would still hang out with me when he was a teenager. His response, "YES! We'll hang out all the time! You're the best mommy E V E R!!!" Uh huh.... Sure. We'll see ;)